hey folks!
I've been worried about the rent control campaign I'm a part of ( pasadena4all.org ), and I wanted to use this forum for some reflection and to get feedback from any of y'all.
My hope in getting the campaign off the ground was to be merely a spark that would quickly become part of a larger fire. But lately I've been feeling like the candle that others light their matches on, and I don't like the feeling. And I don't wanna burn out.
I fuckin' hate bosses and sometimes I feel like I have to be the one to remind folk of our commitments and whatnot. I feel like a friggin' boss alot, and it sucks.
Early on--when we were merely in the planning stages--it was easy for me to feel like I was just one among many big picture thinkers. But then, as it came time to put our plans into action, I ended up taking a lot of the tactical leadership--largely because of my experience. But also because of my "Fuck fear. Let's act!" attitude. And my strong voice/rhetorical skills.
Typical markers of a hierarchical effort started to appear: people looking to ME to figure out what should happen next...ME being the one to call and remind folk about meetings...people telling their contacts to call ME instead of taking the role of being a point person themselves...
True enough, within all this there have been wonderful shifts: people who originally needed me to go petitioning with them ended up being able to do an excellent job themselves...people who needed my prompting on what to say in public forums became able to do it themselves...people began to recruit/plug-in their own contacts, instead of relying on me to do it.
Now we're in a new phase of the campaign. We're not gonna reach our original deadline so we've decided to stop petitioning (we're doing a voter initiative) and instead focus on one-on-one house visits to shore up commitments among our base before we re-start the petition drive.
However, I feel like we're almost at square one again: people need ME to go on house visits with them and will not make the calls themselves...people call ME to say when they can't come to a meeting...
One recent bright spot: at the last meeting when we were catching somebody who'd been away up to speed on our new tactical plan, it was somebody ELSE who took the role of explaining the rationale, and the importance of getting concrete time commitments over vague promises of support.
As I now reflect I'm thinking that I need to do three things to stop feeling like I gotta be the boss:
1) stop acting like a boss. let go of my attachments to a particular outcome in the campaign so I can let go of trying to steer shit so much. when people look at me in meetings to see what should happen next, look at 'em like I have no idea what the answer is, and what are you lookin' at me for?
2) focus more on training folk and more effectively helping them get the tools they need to succeed on their own, unassisted by me.
3) concretely push people to take leadership. decide not show up at a meeting. bring more of the work that I'm trying to do to the others--as a work in progress rather than a finished polished product. be more supportive of various ways folk wanna show leadership, even if I think their idea is a little kooky or undoable.
or even if I fear that it is an intentionally unrealistic cop-out...
I guess that's a big part of it all, too: my fear of being let down by others.
Damn...
--Shawn
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
--Anais Nin
I've been worried about the rent control campaign I'm a part of ( pasadena4all.org ), and I wanted to use this forum for some reflection and to get feedback from any of y'all.
My hope in getting the campaign off the ground was to be merely a spark that would quickly become part of a larger fire. But lately I've been feeling like the candle that others light their matches on, and I don't like the feeling. And I don't wanna burn out.
I fuckin' hate bosses and sometimes I feel like I have to be the one to remind folk of our commitments and whatnot. I feel like a friggin' boss alot, and it sucks.
Early on--when we were merely in the planning stages--it was easy for me to feel like I was just one among many big picture thinkers. But then, as it came time to put our plans into action, I ended up taking a lot of the tactical leadership--largely because of my experience. But also because of my "Fuck fear. Let's act!" attitude. And my strong voice/rhetorical skills.
Typical markers of a hierarchical effort started to appear: people looking to ME to figure out what should happen next...ME being the one to call and remind folk about meetings...people telling their contacts to call ME instead of taking the role of being a point person themselves...
True enough, within all this there have been wonderful shifts: people who originally needed me to go petitioning with them ended up being able to do an excellent job themselves...people who needed my prompting on what to say in public forums became able to do it themselves...people began to recruit/plug-in their own contacts, instead of relying on me to do it.
Now we're in a new phase of the campaign. We're not gonna reach our original deadline so we've decided to stop petitioning (we're doing a voter initiative) and instead focus on one-on-one house visits to shore up commitments among our base before we re-start the petition drive.
However, I feel like we're almost at square one again: people need ME to go on house visits with them and will not make the calls themselves...people call ME to say when they can't come to a meeting...
One recent bright spot: at the last meeting when we were catching somebody who'd been away up to speed on our new tactical plan, it was somebody ELSE who took the role of explaining the rationale, and the importance of getting concrete time commitments over vague promises of support.
As I now reflect I'm thinking that I need to do three things to stop feeling like I gotta be the boss:
1) stop acting like a boss. let go of my attachments to a particular outcome in the campaign so I can let go of trying to steer shit so much. when people look at me in meetings to see what should happen next, look at 'em like I have no idea what the answer is, and what are you lookin' at me for?
2) focus more on training folk and more effectively helping them get the tools they need to succeed on their own, unassisted by me.
3) concretely push people to take leadership. decide not show up at a meeting. bring more of the work that I'm trying to do to the others--as a work in progress rather than a finished polished product. be more supportive of various ways folk wanna show leadership, even if I think their idea is a little kooky or undoable.
or even if I fear that it is an intentionally unrealistic cop-out...
I guess that's a big part of it all, too: my fear of being let down by others.
Damn...
--Shawn
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
--Anais Nin
posted by:
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SF Bay Area
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Re: feedback on non-hierarchical organizing
Sat, January 15, 2005 - 6:00 PMthis is my take on it all, after years of organizing and often being in the same position.
- there are a lot of people who lack experience and need leadership to guide them.
- there are others who don't want any part of leadership. we might prefer a more egalitarian structure, but they don't want the responsiblity (or they don't have the time or energy, etc.). some people want to be led.
- there are people who are driven by passion and ability, and they step into leadership roles in a very natural way.
i have begun to rethink my organizing strategies over these kinds of frustrations. one doesn't have to be a "boss" to be a leader. we *need* leaders. we need good, devoted, passionate, capable leaders.
shawn, i bet people look up to you exactly b/c you don't want to "boss" them around. that's your gift. i don't think it's anything you should try to lose. :)
there's a reason hierarchies work. what isn't cool is an abuse of power. and that abuse can be manifested just as easily in a consensus-based decision-making non-hierarchical group. the person or people who say "no" become the few elite who hold up the democratic process.
which one is more dangerous? which is more effective? i think the answer varies based on the dynamics of the group.
but through it all, i wish we had more leaders who valued honesty and perserverance and had integrity. i, for one, have no problem acknowledging someone who makes personal sacrifices for the good of the community as a leader on an issue. here's to more of them!
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Re: feedback on non-hierarchical organizing
Sat, January 15, 2005 - 11:33 PMHave you tried asking your co-activists how they feel about the way leadership is distributed?
Another question to ask: what would they need to feel comfortable/ready to take on different roles. One example: maybe some role-playing in preparation for the house calls...and instead of you telling them how to do it "right" they could give feedback and ideas to each other, about what they're doing *well* in the role-play, focusing on what works, instead of what doesn't.)
Also, sounds like contacts and phone calls are an issue. If you put out the word that the group needs a designated contact person, then perhaps someone will step up to the plate. If you ask for help with meeting reminder calls, maybe someone will commit to that responsibility.
Just a couple thoughts...let us know how it's going, and what *has* worked for you in the past when you're trying to share leadership.
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Re: feedback on non-hierarchical organizing
Mon, January 17, 2005 - 9:11 PMi've had similar experiences. i've sometimes found myself as the de facto leader of an organization, partly because of experience, partly because i'm willing to be decisive when it needs to be done, partly because i've often taken on a lot of work. and yet i usually feel uncomfortable being looked up to. it's not just an ideological anti-authoritarian thing for me, it's at least two other things: 1. my personality. i'm really the shy quiet type who would rather not speak too much and just take on a chunk of the work that the group decides needs to be done. 2. it's an indication that the organization isn't really working properly: i think good activist groups attract and/or develop people who are able to be independent.
i guess i learned to not be so uncomfortable in these situations. it was helpful for me to think of my early days as an activist, when
i would look up to certain more experienced people. i didn't do it with the attitude that they were bosses - i wanted to emulate them so i could be as effective and thoughtful as they were. i'm not there yet but i continue to aspire.
whenever possible, i encourage people who look up to me to be bold and to take things on. that's how i was able to become more independent and experienced, and that's how i think others would do it.
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Re: feedback on non-hierarchical organizing
Mon, January 17, 2005 - 9:14 PMlooks like your group is doing some good work, by the way.
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Re: feedback on non-hierarchical organizing
Sat, January 29, 2005 - 12:35 PMHi Shawn,
Different people have different ideas about how to make decisions or how to participate. Alot of these ideas come from school (one teacher, 30 "sit-quietly-at-desk-and-stare-at-the-one-teacher" students) or work (one boss, many workers), or US Government (one President, a bagizillion people), etc. Others come from our family structures, the culture of our geographical location of origin or our cultural or ethnic heritage, expectations women and men are conditioned to meet, etc. So you're not dealing with a group of people who all have your same ideas and practices around leadership, organization, decision making, and participation. It's pretty interesting to see what kinds of people take up noticible leadership positions within group/organizational efforts -- take a moment to look around and see who your conterparts are in other organizations.
Some groups get together and first discuss how they're going to organize and make decisions. But most efforts seem to start with a person who has an idea and puts in a huge amount of time and effort and passion and money to make the effort take off. The person is probably rewarded with hearing people tell them how wonderful they are, how great it is someone is "finally doing this", or by seeing people show up to something they've started. Of course, there are also the rewards of believing we're doing something to "change the world".
Ideas for stepping back (from a recovering "organizer"):
1) Talk about organizing. Ask people what they think about how things are going. Ask them how they prefer to make group decisions. Ask them how they imagine a group of people can work together with their differing ideas about organizing. Don't answer any of those questions.
2) In fact -- see how long you can go in a meeting without talking. (It's hard.)
3) Go on vacation. Seriously. Just get out of town. And if you can't, at least take a personal reprive for a month or three. Don't check your listserve. Forward your email to someone else in the group.
4) Let go of control. Don't make decisions. Defer, "delegate", shrug your shoulders, ask someone's opinion. Go with the flow. Let the group collapse if it has to! (If the group was worth it, it'll come back together stronger than ever.)
5) Look at what you're gaining from being the being "the leader". You have a choice about being "a leader" and you've chosen that role. How do you feel after a meeting or effort? What is it that "keeps you going"?
6) Think of 10 groups, organizations, efforts, or collectives that you admire or think get alot done. How do they do it? (When I answered this question for myself, I realized it was the more anarchistic, collective, or cooperative collections of people that I respected and that my hierarchical organizing was very different than that of the groups I admired.)
7) If your effort was important enough to people that they'd give the passion, time, and energy needed to make it happen -- would they? If people were given the opportunity to "vote" for the project with their own time and energy, would they? -
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Re: feedback on non-hierarchical organizing
Wed, February 2, 2005 - 1:12 PMthanks for all the excellent and thought-povoking feedback people! this turned out to be a cool thread with wonderful issues raised. i hope the ideas and experiences continue to be exchanged.
i've been both explicitly and implicitly turning it back on folk. telling people i don't want to be the boss. and acting like i ain't no damned boss. and we're moving in a good direction.
at our last meeting i checked myself and it worked. when one person was talking for what seemed like several minutes about issues that i saw as tangential, i observed i was feeling frustrated. i was worried we were wasting time. worried that people would get turned off by our meandering.
but i didn't do my usual behavior: try to direct the meeting back to a 'more productive' topic. although i was frustrated by the convo, i refused to play the facilitator/meeting cop role. (it was a small group, we didn't have an official facilitator.) i just sat and doodled.
after a while, someone ELSE in the group said "Bueno..." as a way to transition the conversation and help us focus.
also, when someone suggested we go to a certain event to flyer, instead of me saying "but how does that fit within the recruiting plan we came up with last month?" i said, "Cool idea! i can't make it but here's some flyers." (as the most computer literate person i'd promised a while back to make a new flyer.)
evenutally the meeting turned out to be great. we eventually got around to what i hoped we'd get around to, and people were cracking jokes together as we were planning our next event.
another example. at a meeting with an IAF organizer doing work in the community to figure out how we could connect our efforts, instead of me going as 'leader of the group' i went with 2 other core members. they did a lot of the talking and it felt like we were really a team, instead of the 'organizer-volunteer' dynamic. (hell, we're ALL volunteers! i gotta find me some paid work!)
and i realize in a better way that a lot of the convo i see as tangential isn't tangential at all. it is a way to build coneection and understanding.
ttyl
--Shawn
The best path up the mountain is almost never a straight line. -
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Re: feedback on non-hierarchical organizing
Mon, February 7, 2005 - 8:56 PMthat's awesome! :) good luck with it all.
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