...I'm interested in your reactions to this situation.
While volunteering at a hospital as a "friendly visitor" (doing active listening with patients who are in hospital long term) in the oncology ward, I'm listening to a patient who is on her death bed. She has a few months left to live.
In the course of her talking to me about life and death, her beliefs etc, she mentions that her daughter recently bought a house in a certain part of the city but very quickly moved out, because of the "problems there" which she says I must have heard of. It's "the blacks". The woman is white. I am white and anti-racist.
What would be an appropriate response for me to make here?
While volunteering at a hospital as a "friendly visitor" (doing active listening with patients who are in hospital long term) in the oncology ward, I'm listening to a patient who is on her death bed. She has a few months left to live.
In the course of her talking to me about life and death, her beliefs etc, she mentions that her daughter recently bought a house in a certain part of the city but very quickly moved out, because of the "problems there" which she says I must have heard of. It's "the blacks". The woman is white. I am white and anti-racist.
What would be an appropriate response for me to make here?
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Re: An ethical question for you...
Wed, December 7, 2005 - 11:04 PMThat is a good question, but given that she is terminal, I would give certain license to people that I would normally not give. I view racism as a mental disorder, and it is a disorder that has been considered entry for the Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel, a book often used to give and define disorder. Now to move back from my digression, she may never get over her racist view, but if you wish to take a few stabs at it, you might seek to view it as a phobia, as it is, and seek what it may take to reduce here fears.
Another thing to consider is find if it is affecting the way the people taking care of her, such as a non-white nurse or other caretaker.
I personally would consider what it would take to influence freinds and coworkers. I would have a harder time deciding on a dying patient and accept that there may never be enough time to have much effect on her view.
By the way, I myself wonder if anybody agrees with me on this one, especially from non-whites. -
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Re: An ethical question for you...
Wed, December 7, 2005 - 11:35 PMAnother factor in the situation is that because of volunteer schedules and how the illness progresses, we see the patients only once, for 45 minutes absolute maximum. So my question is more, How do I react on the spot when similar situations present themselves? -
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Re: An ethical question for you...
Thu, December 8, 2005 - 10:51 AMThen you will have to ignore that situation. A response reinforces ideas, and you don't have time to give a response for them to absorb to reflect on the negative, especially when she may still be reflecting on her, or anybody else's, reflection of what remains in there life. There is already a lot that has built and reinforced what they believe, if the patient is not terminal, then feedback may be more ideal, and then you can hope that somebody else down the line gives a similar feed back. -
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Re: An ethical question for you...
Thu, December 8, 2005 - 4:07 PMYes...I agree. Sending this person love and giving them attention during their final weeks/months will add more goodwill/karma/energy to the world than trying to fight racism in that one-on-one situation.
You might, though, think about whether there's been any racism directed at others in caretaking capacities. Doing what you can to kindly and respectfully reach out towards anyone who may have been negatively impacted by her racism is probably more helpful than actually trying to change her mind.
So...just send her love.
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